Deimos Rising, Neopets, really no one in the right mind would give a crap. But if you know me I'm never in the right mind. Oops!
--------
Disclaimer:
The following post is CLASSIFIED under Section 5 of the Official Secrets Act, meant for the eyes of the Alumni and Exco only. Any persons found in possession or control any secret official code word, countersign or password, or any photograph, drawing, plan, model, article, note, document or information which has been made or obtained in contravention of this Act communicates directly or indirectly any such information or thing as aforesaid to any exco member other than an exco member to whom he is duly authorised to communicate it, or to any person other than a person to whom he is authorised to communicate it or to whom it is his duty to communicate it shall be guilty of an offence.
--------------
Chapter 7: It Ends HereWisecrack.
Me: It is not easy to make a long, structured post. It needs Effort.
Angeline: ouR p0s+s nID EffOr+ +0o!
Me: Minimal effort is not effort.
Angeline: wH@tS teh w0rD @f+er "M1N1M@L"?
Me: 'Effort'
Angeline: Y@h seeeee??!!!!!!11
Out of the kindness of my heart, I went back to school yesterday to visit the Naked Exhibition put up by the J1s. I thought it was a beautiful display, and for that moment I was in awe of the J1s ability to get a job done so strikingly well.
But then, I entered the clubroom.
When I went in, the lights were turned off and the first thing I saw was gunfire. Instinctively, I ducked.
I looked closer for the source but it was just Chin Chye fooling around with the flashes. So I got up again, wanting to congratulate the club exco on the success of the exhibition. I really wanted to, given that the Alumni thought that the idea of putting up a hanging gallery around the spiral staircase was unfeasible, but they pulled it off.
Then, I saw Neopets on the Mac.
And next, I saw Elliot and Angeline destroying the blog with senseless posts. Posts that look like the ones underneath this.
Therefore, I'd like to take a moment to review the several ways in which the club has turned into a madhouse, as well as the actions the honorable Alumni should take to prevent such actions from happening again.
1. Regimentation
It's really all about the uniform.
Me: It is not easy to make a long, structured post. It needs Effort.
Angeline: ouR p0s+s nID EffOr+ +0o!
Me: Minimal effort is not effort.
Angeline: wH@tS teh w0rD @f+er "M1N1M@L"?
Me: 'Effort'
Angeline: Y@h seeeee??!!!!!!11
Out of the kindness of my heart, I went back to school yesterday to visit the Naked Exhibition put up by the J1s. I thought it was a beautiful display, and for that moment I was in awe of the J1s ability to get a job done so strikingly well.
But then, I entered the clubroom.
When I went in, the lights were turned off and the first thing I saw was gunfire. Instinctively, I ducked.
I looked closer for the source but it was just Chin Chye fooling around with the flashes. So I got up again, wanting to congratulate the club exco on the success of the exhibition. I really wanted to, given that the Alumni thought that the idea of putting up a hanging gallery around the spiral staircase was unfeasible, but they pulled it off.
Then, I saw Neopets on the Mac.
And next, I saw Elliot and Angeline destroying the blog with senseless posts. Posts that look like the ones underneath this.
Therefore, I'd like to take a moment to review the several ways in which the club has turned into a madhouse, as well as the actions the honorable Alumni should take to prevent such actions from happening again.
1. Regimentation
It's really all about the uniform.As you all know, I'm currently serving my time in National Service, as a soldier of the Singapore Armed Forces. The Army has taught me many things, some of them good, some of them bad. One of the things I learnt from the wonderful Army experience is the punishment system.
Let me explain. For minor offences such as not falling in on time or failure to do area cleaning, the instant punishment meted out is a few push-ups. Say about 50. For more severe offences, such as disobeying orders, the punishment is a confinement in camp for extra duties over the weekend. For offences like going AWOL or losing your rifle, you get court martialled and get sent to the Detention Barracks (military version of Prison).
Why do I mention this, you may ask?
It's a system that works. Slightly. I know this because having served for almost two years these punishments fulfills its purpose. So, I have come up with a list of offences and the respective punishments for them.
I beseech the exco members to print a copy of this list and put it up in the clubroom. Please use bluetack otherwise Mr. Cheng will take it down. Thanks!
2. Prevention is better than cure.
This is the new Photography Alumni T-shirt. Comes with free Jinbei lightstick.
Cliche title. But do I care? No, because it's true.
Most of the time, the Alumni believes in punishment (see above) when there is a disturbance in the Force. However, we do know that punishment does not work all the time, especially since we have so few members and we cannot afford to kill so many of them. So sometimes, a kind Alumnus like me will suggest preventive measures to help members avoid committing grave offences.
This requires certain abilities to pull it off. For example, the Neopets scourge.
My problem with Neopets is that it should not be played on the Mac because it is for work only. Adobe Photoshop is work. Microsh*t Office is work. Deimos Rising is work. Not Neopets.
And I also know for a fact that Angeline plays Neopets on the Mac despite my orders a week ago. This is the skill you need: to predict the crime before it happens.
Have you watched Minority Report? In it, the police arrests criminals with the aid of prophets, even when the crime has not been committed. It's a system that works. Slightly. Here, however, I'm not going to punish Angeline with the threat of death before she actually plays Neopets again on the Mac. That would be cruel.
The answer, my dear friends, is prevention. And here's how I do it:
We went back and created another sign.
And it's not just Angeline, I'm sure. I don't like to pinpoint people, but Shirleen, Victoria, Zhenghui, Vanessa and Elliot, I have my eyes on you.
Prevention rules.
3. Crime Busting
What happens when a crime is confirmed? What should the Alumni do to stop it?
Scenario #1
Let me explain. For minor offences such as not falling in on time or failure to do area cleaning, the instant punishment meted out is a few push-ups. Say about 50. For more severe offences, such as disobeying orders, the punishment is a confinement in camp for extra duties over the weekend. For offences like going AWOL or losing your rifle, you get court martialled and get sent to the Detention Barracks (military version of Prison).
Why do I mention this, you may ask?
It's a system that works. Slightly. I know this because having served for almost two years these punishments fulfills its purpose. So, I have come up with a list of offences and the respective punishments for them.
| Offence | Punishment |
|---|---|
| Spamming the blog with senseless posts | Death |
| Playing Neopets on the Mac | Death |
| Eating in the Clubroom | Death |
| Throwing litter in the Clubroom | Torture, then Death |
| Dropping a lens | Torture, then Death |
| Mounting a Nikon flashgun on a Canon | Death |
| Criticizing Deimos Rising | Death |
| Criticizing the greatness of the Alumni | OMGUDIENOW!!! |
2. Prevention is better than cure.
This is the new Photography Alumni T-shirt. Comes with free Jinbei lightstick.Cliche title. But do I care? No, because it's true.
Most of the time, the Alumni believes in punishment (see above) when there is a disturbance in the Force. However, we do know that punishment does not work all the time, especially since we have so few members and we cannot afford to kill so many of them. So sometimes, a kind Alumnus like me will suggest preventive measures to help members avoid committing grave offences.
This requires certain abilities to pull it off. For example, the Neopets scourge.
My problem with Neopets is that it should not be played on the Mac because it is for work only. Adobe Photoshop is work. Microsh*t Office is work. Deimos Rising is work. Not Neopets.
And I also know for a fact that Angeline plays Neopets on the Mac despite my orders a week ago. This is the skill you need: to predict the crime before it happens.
Have you watched Minority Report? In it, the police arrests criminals with the aid of prophets, even when the crime has not been committed. It's a system that works. Slightly. Here, however, I'm not going to punish Angeline with the threat of death before she actually plays Neopets again on the Mac. That would be cruel.
The answer, my dear friends, is prevention. And here's how I do it:
We went back and created another sign.Prevention rules.
3. Crime Busting
What happens when a crime is confirmed? What should the Alumni do to stop it?
Scenario #1Examine the above scenario. Assume that there are three people playing Neopets on the Apple Macs and the Microsh*t PC. From top to bottom, let's name them target Z, target A and target S. Now, remember it's not a crime to play on the PC, but it is a crime to play on the Mac.
How does one react to such a situation?
Having trained in Urban Operations in the Army, I can tell you that we need a plan.
Before Entry
How does one react to such a situation?
Having trained in Urban Operations in the Army, I can tell you that we need a plan.
Before EntryWe will need four agents for this, making up two groups of two agents each. Group 1 is the main assault force, while group 2 shall assume the role of the reserve group. Both groups will stack outside the clubroom's two access doors. They will do their final equipment check, weapons check and also conduct a small water parade and safety briefing so that their safety is ensured.
Breaching the Objective
Once all preparations are done, individual groups will assume door breaching positions for a frag-and-clear breaching action. Upon go-code Alpha, groups will lob a fragmentation grenade in the path shown. Note: Group 2 must be able to lob the grenade under the large format printer for easy access later.
The Main Assault
Finally, groups will enter swiftly into the main combat area. Group 1 will move in quickly through the main door and finish off the opponents A and S. Group 2 will advance through the ruins of the large format Epson printer and bring up the rear of the assault force. This concludes the end of the operational plan to clear hostiles from the clubroom.
Note that target Z has also been taken out despite the fact that he is NOT committing a crime by playing Neopets on the Mac, but on the PC. This is unavoidable. In war, innocent casualties should be minimized, but due to the narrowness of the clubroom, there is no choice and target Z must die as well.
There's a lesson to take away here. If you decide to play Neopets on the Mac, people, innocent or not, will die. Can you live with that guilt? No, you can't, because you're dead too.
Here are the selected agents from the Alumni who bravely accepted this task.
You see, the Alumni is concerned of the well-being of the Club. We recognize that there are rules set for the sake of ensuring the smooth running of club affairs, and we're determined to protect that.
Alumni-proposed Mat Cutter.
Also, one more thing. Chapter 7 is not a precursor for more of this Chapters crap. No, this is the end of it all! Any one who posts Chapter 8 in a crappy fashion shall be subject to the swift and decisive action of our Alumni Agents.
So in the end, I believe we have an understanding that there should be no more senseless posts in the blog, and no more Neopets on the Mac in the clubroom, among other things. I'm confident that the above solutions are able to resolve the problems we face everyday. Discipline must be maintained, and I'm sure the teachers will agree with me on this.
Elliot and Victoria, please do disseminate the above information to all members.
Maxaevi, out!
---
You Can't Shut Me Up!
Breaching the ObjectiveOnce all preparations are done, individual groups will assume door breaching positions for a frag-and-clear breaching action. Upon go-code Alpha, groups will lob a fragmentation grenade in the path shown. Note: Group 2 must be able to lob the grenade under the large format printer for easy access later.
The Main AssaultFinally, groups will enter swiftly into the main combat area. Group 1 will move in quickly through the main door and finish off the opponents A and S. Group 2 will advance through the ruins of the large format Epson printer and bring up the rear of the assault force. This concludes the end of the operational plan to clear hostiles from the clubroom.
Note that target Z has also been taken out despite the fact that he is NOT committing a crime by playing Neopets on the Mac, but on the PC. This is unavoidable. In war, innocent casualties should be minimized, but due to the narrowness of the clubroom, there is no choice and target Z must die as well.
There's a lesson to take away here. If you decide to play Neopets on the Mac, people, innocent or not, will die. Can you live with that guilt? No, you can't, because you're dead too.
Here are the selected agents from the Alumni who bravely accepted this task.
- Chee Howe
- Kingston
- Jun Sen
- Xing Quan
You see, the Alumni is concerned of the well-being of the Club. We recognize that there are rules set for the sake of ensuring the smooth running of club affairs, and we're determined to protect that.
Alumni-proposed Mat Cutter.Also, one more thing. Chapter 7 is not a precursor for more of this Chapters crap. No, this is the end of it all! Any one who posts Chapter 8 in a crappy fashion shall be subject to the swift and decisive action of our Alumni Agents.
So in the end, I believe we have an understanding that there should be no more senseless posts in the blog, and no more Neopets on the Mac in the clubroom, among other things. I'm confident that the above solutions are able to resolve the problems we face everyday. Discipline must be maintained, and I'm sure the teachers will agree with me on this.
Elliot and Victoria, please do disseminate the above information to all members.
Maxaevi, out!
---
You Can't Shut Me Up!
